My Top 4 Annoying Commercials

Hey, I’m back. I’m also back to work with longer hours so I’m going to have to rethink my big, long, detailed posts and go to a little briefer (?) ones.

I wanted to do a top 5 most annoying commercials but I couldn’t come up with the 5th one so here we go, my top 4, not necessarily in any order.

#1   Downtown Nashville Nissan

Jolene, the spokeswoman for these commercials has to have the most annoying voice in the history of human beings. She probably has a really annoying voice naturally, but throw in a few lessons on TV voice inflection, and you have a commercial that will make me sprint full speed to find the remote to mute her as quickly as possible. She debuted a few years ago, then was joined by another good-looking blond who actually had a nice voice but they ditched her and now it’s just irritatingly, annoying Jolene again.

I mean, the woman is a complete babe, really good-looking. But the only way she will ever get, and keep a man is if she totally has a radically different off-camera speaking voice or if he’s totally, stone cold, 100% deaf.

#2 Progressive Insurance

The ones with “Flo”. You know, the big eyed, big lipped, brunette with the tricked out name tag. No comments necessary. She is really, really annoying. The way she looks, acts, and talks. Across the board, bonafied Annoying.

#3   Empire Flooring

The reason this one sends 10,000 razor-sharp needles through a person’s nervous system is the phone # that is played several times throughout the seemingly hours long commercial: 1-800-588-2300 Empire. That’s what the lady from Satan’s choir tweets out.Yes, your right. They have accomplished their task of driving those digits into my brain. Would I ever call them though? Only to give them a good cussin.

#4 Verizon Fantasy

This is the one where they interview this guy that’s on his honeymoon with his wife but all he’s talking about is his Verizon Fantasy League hookup. He’s riding on the beach on a horse with his wife behind him, but he’s enthralled with his cell phone looking at his fantasy picks. That’s not what’s so bad though. Nothing wrong with a little sports every now and then, right? The thing that annoys me is when he says at the end of the commercial: yeah, and the buffet was really robust. Again, nothing at all wrong with a buffet. It’s mainly him using  the word “robust” that makes me want to puke. That and the fact that they’ve aired the commercial about one million times.