Archive for December, 2008

Josh Hamilton

Posted in Books with tags , , , , on December 29, 2008 by mccoolio

joshI got the new book: Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back  by Josh Hamilton and Tim Keown. I started reading it Friday night and finished it Saturday evening. OK, so I was land-locked because of the afore mentioned sinus surgery but even if I hadn’t , it’s that compelling.

Lately I’ve read three books centered around drug addiction and recovery : Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction by David Sheff ,   Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story by Brian Welch and this one. Beautiful Boy needs to be read by anyone that has a loved one or friend that struggles with addictions but it is a tough read , especially for those who’ve been through or are going through addiction issues. In addition, for someone like myself with a Christian based outlook, reading a book about such struggles without God, is tough.David Sheff is a very good writer, and he paints a very realistic and informative picture of the nightmare of day to day life dealing with a loved one’s addictions. Brian Welch’s book has pretty rough subject matter, very raw, but his conversion seems very authentic to me, and rings true with my conversion. This book would probably not appeal to most because of it’s raw subject matter. Josh’s book however, is a great read for everyone, if  you know his story or not, sports lover or not. His story is widely known now but the book goes into much more detail about his life. The similarities between Josh’s conversion and Brian Welch’s are almost exactly the same, and as I mentioned, almost exactly the same as mine: the wonderment, the innocence, the power and love. Right there about page 162 in Josh’s book is the greatest part but you better read the rest.

For anyone who doesn’t know about what he did at the Home Run derby read this: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/allstar08/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=3487832

brian

Here’s David’s site: http://www.davidsheff.com/

and here’s Brian’s: http://www.brianheadwelch.net/beautiful

Advertisements

Christmas bliss

Posted in Seasonal with tags , , , , , on December 26, 2008 by mccoolio

christmas5Well, Christmas 2008 is just about over, with all that’s left is to throw all the wrapping paper and empty packages that all the stuff came in away. We had a great Christmas, even though I experienced it through a Mepergan and Percocet fog, having had sinus surgery on the 23rd. It hasn’t been near as bad as the horror stories I’ve heard. Maybe because at the slightest whisper of pain, I go -a diving  into those little bottles for another 4-6 hours of dreamlike bliss. A little drawback to that however, was major constipation (but nothing that a heavy dose of carrots, a gorilla’s daily allowance of bananas, Raisin Bran, and Mrs Lynn’s looked-like-it-had-some-bran-in-it bread would not fix), and in my blissfulness I overlooked the fact that my little 3 cup Bunn coffee maker couldn’t keep up with about 15 coffee drinkers this morning at our family get together at our house. How embarrassing! How uncouth! How far did my stock in coffee snobville fall? Finally, by the grace of my sister in law Gaye and their 10 cup Proctor Silex standard coffee maker, we made it through. Back to the sinus surgery…I don’t know if all the narcotics are making me paranoid, but why is everybody snickering about how big my swoll-up nose is? They must have had 2 or 3  NBC or Discovery Channel cameras stuck up in there. And maybe a few excavating tools too. I think, instead of enlarging the opening up in there where the sinuses drain, Dr. DeMoville instead enlarged my nostril openings. Dude, I look like Patrick Ewing or somebody now. I mean some big F-17 Jet intakes. I would definitely have a big advantage in any kind of endurance event now. Wouldn’t be any oxygen available for anyone else, not after I  get through inhaling.

You can say what you want about Christmas but I’ll take any excuse to get to see my extended family. It’s never long enough though. I think  we need to adopt the ways of the Israelites, who had (still have?) week long feasts. No wonder people are all stressed all the time. We need more down time.

I got some great gifts: a Chris Johnson jersey (if I were black, I’d have dreads just like my boy Chris. Dreads just don’t look good with white guy hair) to replace my 5 year old Samari Rolle jersey that I’ve been wearing  when we watch the Titans play every week but I don’t wear out in public, a autobiography by Josh Hamilton, a Starbucks gift card, 1 year subscription to Men’s Health mag, a sweet down jacket, and a bunch of other stuff.

My main squeeze brother in law EBoosh did some major maintenance on an acoustic guitar that  I’m loaning to Jordan. It’s been under our bed for years and my guitar-stringing skills were pretty rusty. Rusty enough, in fact, that I was ready to replace the tuning keys. Old Elton though, worked his magic and the thing is playing great.

prescription_drugs

Poetry Wednesday

Posted in The LORD with tags , , , on December 24, 2008 by mccoolio

jesus

Hey guys,

I’m a little late on my Poetry Tuesday. I had nasal surgery Tuesday morning and I’m still not out of the woods yet. So I’m doing a belated Poetry Tuesday on Wednesday.  I know that not doing it on Tuesday devastated a lot of people. Sorry.

The following poems were in my college Lit book. The first is by William Blake  (1757-1827),  and is entitled ” The Lamb”. It’s really cool when a master artist; poet, painter, or sculptor lends their talents to glorifying God.

The second has the birth of Christ as the main theme and is by Christina Rossetti  (1830-1894) and is entitled” A Christmas Carol”. The poem starts by talking about the bleakness of midwinter. which could be an analogy for  sin. Then the middle section is a worship to God. But my favorite is the last stanza:

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,

Give my heart.

The Lamb

Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed,
By the stream and o’er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?

Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee,
Little Lamb, I’ll tell thee.
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb.
He is meek, and He is mild;
He became a little child.
I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

A Christmas Carol

1. In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

2. Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty,
Jesus Christ.

3. Enough for Him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breastful of milk
And a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

4. Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air,
But only His mother1
In her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the Beloved
With a kiss.

5. What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.


John Halgrim

Posted in The LORD with tags , , , on December 23, 2008 by mccoolio

orphans1

For those of you that really don’t read the daily newspaper much, this was in today’s paper. Usually there’s not that much good news, especially in the news section. But this was so good I think they had to put it in there.

Here’s the story in short: John Halgrim at age 15  got cancer. He went to church but wasn’t that committed. But having cancer seemed to open his eyes.  “I learned I needed to change my life”, he wrote in the journal he started keeping.” I learned I needed to live my life through God’s eyes and not my own.”

John decided that when the Make -a -Wish foundation wanted to help him do what they do: help dying kids do something they’ve always wanted to do, meet their favorite athlete, go to Disney world, etc., that he wanted something a little different.  Maybe it was the mission videos he’d seen at his church or maybe it was the TV show about parent less African children being forced into slavery and dying of hunger but John decided that he wanted them to help him build an orphanage in Africa. That was his wish.  Here’s the whole story:

http://www.miamiherald.com/772/story/821797.html

Here’s his site:

http://www.johnhalgrimorphanage.com

Terrell Owens; Superman or Looneyman?

Posted in Sports with tags , , , on December 18, 2008 by mccoolio

terrell-owens-photograph-c12396267

You’ve got to hand it to ole Terrell.He’s had a heck of a ride during his NFL career.Haven’t checked but he has to rank up pretty high among the top guys of all time:

Year Team G GS Rec Yards AVG LG TD
1996 SF 16 10 35 520 14.9 46t 4
1997 SF 16 15 60 936 15.6 56t 8
1998 SF 16 10 67 1,097 16.4 79t 14
1999 SF 14 14 60 754 12.6 36 4
2000 SF 14 13 97 1,451 15.0 69t 13
2001 SF 16 16 93 1,412 15.4 60t 16
2002 SF 14 14 100 1,300 13.0 76t 13
2003 SF 15 15 80 1,102 13.8 75t 9
2004 PHI 14 14 77 1,200 15.6 59t 14
2005 PHI 7 7 47 763 16.2 91t 6
2006 DAL 16 15 85 1,180 13.9 56t 13
2007 DAL 15 15 81 1,355 16.7 52t 15
2008 DAL 12 12 52 816 15.7 75t 8
Tot. N/A 185 170 934 13,886 14.9 91t 137

NFL records and career notables

  • Has 139 total touchdowns (137 receiving), 13,401 receiving yards, 901 receptions, and 183 rushing yards
  • Averaged one touchdown per game in 2001, 2004, and 2007
  • Has had eight 1,000 yard seasons, including five consecutive (2000–2004)
  • Holds NFL record 20 receptions in a single game against the Bears
  • Reached 100 catches in only 14 games in 2002
  • Led League in receiving touchdowns in 2001, 2002, and 2006
  • Second all-time in receiving touchdowns behind Jerry Rice

But wow. There’s more. Terrell is probably in the top 3 in NFL history for his utterly hilarious, creative TD celebrations: I guess  my top 3 are as follows: APTOPIX Packers Cowboys Football

1) Chronicled below, when he caught a TD for the 49ers while at Dallas and ran all the way to midfield and celebrated on the Cowboy star. This incident clearly illustrates that either TO has about the biggest cahonies around or the smallest brain. The really funny part is the next time he scores, he takes off again to celebrate on the star but out of nowhere comes Cowoy safety George Teague and KO’s TO and knocks him sprawling.Hilarious.

2) After scoring a TD, to grabs a box of popcorn and tosses all the contents into his helmet opening, like he’s eating it.

3) After another TD , he grabs some pom poms from a cheerleader and starts cheerleading. This and similar incidents convince me that having TO as a buddy would be a real hoot.

Celebrations for San Francisco

  • While playing the Atlanta Falcons on January 9, 1999, Owens caught a long touchdown pass and proceeded to mimic the “dirty bird“, the Falcons’ signature touchdown dance. However, Owens performed a slashing of the throat gesture at the end of the dance, which quickly silenced the crowd.
  • On September 24, 2000 in Dallas, Terrell Owens showed off his excitement after his two touchdown catches by running from the endzone to midfield and celebrating on the Dallas Cowboys‘ famous star logo. The second time Owens made a trip to the star, then Cowboys safety George Teague hit him during the celebration. Teague would be ejected for his actions, while Owens was suspended for a week by his head coach and was fined $24,000 which was equal to a week’s pay. The celebration and subsequent hit were named one of the ten most memorable moments in the history of Texas Stadium by ESPN in 2008.
  • During a Monday Night Football game against the Seattle Seahawks on October 14, 2002, Owens pulled a Sharpie marker out of his sock to sign the football he caught to score a touchdown, and then gave the ball to his financial adviser, who was in the stands. He was fined for this stunt.
  • On December 15, 2002, in a home game against the Green Bay Packers, Owens scored a touchdown and ran to a row of cheerleaders beyond the endzone. He reached out and asked to borrow two pompoms from a 49ers cheerleader, which he then playfully shook, doing his own brief spontaneous routine before dropping them to the ground.
  • On November 17, 2003, the 49ers hosted the Pittsburgh Steelers in a Monday night game, and Owens wore a wristband with the words “The Answer” emblazoned on it. Just over eight minutes into the game, he caught a 61-yard touchdown pass from Tim Rattay (who was starting at quarterback because Jeff Garcia was injured), and excitedly pointed to the wristband after reaching the end zone to draw attention to it. After the game (won by San Francisco 30-14), Owens was asked by a sideline reporter the significance of the slogan on the wristband, and he replied: “Because I am The Answer.” “The Answer” is the widely known nickname of NBA star guard Allen Iverson.

Celebrations for Philadelphia

  • The “Bird Dance”, “The Bird” or “Wing Flap” became T.O.’s trademark dance with the Eagles. During the 2004 season, the Birdheadz (The Original ‘Ol Head, Whey Cooler and DJ Holland) a local Philadelphia group came up with a song named “Flying with the Birdz, Do the Bird”. The Birdheadz first came up with it during the Eagles 2003 playoff run. T.O. did the “Bird Dance” frequently during the 2004 season after a big play or TD. After the Super Bowl in ’04, New England players did a version of the “Bird Dance” with their celebrations.
  • He imitated and mocked the trademark pre-game ritual dance of Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis after scoring a touchdown while playing against the Ravens in the 2004 season.
  • After catching a touchdown from Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb during a game in Cleveland, Owens ran through the end zone and tore down a hand-made sign which read, “T.O. has B.O.“.
  • After scoring his 100th career touchdown in Philadelphia, he pulled a towel from his waist, folded it over his arm, and then placed the football in the palm of his hand, holding it over his shoulder and pretending to serve it up to the opposing team like a waiter would present a meal.
  • After scoring a touchdown against the Chicago Bears in 2004, Owens celebrated by doing six sit-ups in the end zone, one for each touchdown he had scored at that point in the 2004 season.

Celebrations for Dallas

  • After catching a touchdown against the Washington Redskins on November 5, 2006, Owens pretended to take a nap, using the football as a pillow. The Cowboys were penalized 15 yards for “excessive celebration”. Days before the game, Owens was reported to have a habit of falling asleep during team meetings.
  • On the Thanksgiving Day game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on November 23, 2006, Owens, after catching a pass for a touchdown, dropped the ball in an oversized Salvation Army Red Kettle, donating the ball to the Salvation Army. (Since 1997, the Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving Day game halftime show has traditionally started the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Christmas Campaign.) About the touchdown celebration, Owens was quoted as saying, “That was my donation. I hope it’s worth as much as the fine.”
  • On December 16, 2006, Owens first introduced his trademark “T.O.” symbol with his arms after scoring his second touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons. It has since become a frequent celebration after Owens scores.
  • On September 16, 2007, Owens mocked Bill Belichick after catching a touchdown against the Miami Dolphins, by hiding behind a field goal post and holding the football to his face in a video camera fashion, as if secretly spying and filming the game. The Cowboys were penalized 15 yards for “excessive celebration”.  On September 19, 2007, the league fined Owens $7,500 for the celebration. According to Owens, he was only fined because he used the ball as a prop.
  • On November 4, 2007 against his former team, the Philadelphia Eagles, Owens flapped his wings, mimicking the dance he did while with the Eagles. This, coupled with Owens’ tumultuous stay with the Eagles and his current tenure with the Cowboys (an Eagles division rival), earned the boos of the crowd.  Prior to the game, Owens was quoted as saying, “There’s a lot of love in those boos.”
  • On November 29, 2007 against the Green Bay Packers Owens scores a touchdown and throws popcorn in his face.
  • On September 7, 2008, Owens celebrated his first touchdown of the 2008 NFL Season against the Cleveland Browns by preparing himself like an Olympic sprinter ready to explode out of the blocks. FOX Sports play by play man Joe Buck suggested the celebration may be homage to the Olympics and Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt. The Cowboys were penalized 15 yards for “excessive celebration”.

Next, I have to talk about Terrell’s legendary fitness. He is a guy that is obsessed with nutrition and fitness. Being someone that isn’t far from that category, I’ve always respected what he has to say about it. He has a book that he has written that is full of good advice and tips as far as could tell while perusing it at the bookstore.to-body

But then, I round out this story with one last aspect of Terrell’s resume. And it’s this part that will ultimately keep T baby from being mentioned with the greatest of all time: Controversy.

Following a subpar team season in 2003, Owens decided to leave the 49ers. Immediately after breaking off all ties to the 49ers, Owens appeared in an interview for Playboy magazine, where he created controversy after insinuating that Garcia was homosexual.

Controversy with Eagles

During his weekly Philadelphia sports radio show on WIP (AM) prior to the game against the Dallas Cowboys, Owens stated if he could return to the 2004 off-season he would not have signed with the Eagles. After the Dallas game, in which the Eagles were badly beaten, Owens was seen by Philadelphia Daily News reporters wearing a Michael Irvin throwback football jersey on the way to the Eagles airplane flight. Irvin was a hall-of-fame wide receiver for the Cowboys during the ’90s when the Cowboys-Eagles rivalry was perhaps the most intense.

As a result, Owens’ appearance in the jersey was seen as provocative in the Philadelphia press and by many fans. According to sources and Andy Reid‘s post-game press conference, none of Owens’ teammates or coaches challenged him. The following Friday, on Owens’ radio show, he stated he did not care what the fans thought of him wearing the jersey and that he would wear what he chooses. It is well known that Owens and Irvin are good friends.

On November 3, 2005, Hugh Douglas, former Philadelphia Eagles Defensive End, acting as an ambassador for team management, started to have an argument with Owens in front of the team in the locker room before practice. Soon, this led to a short fight between the two.

That afternoon Owens made a number of controversial statements during an ESPN interview. In the interview, Owens voiced his frustrations of the Eagles not recognizing his 100th career TD. He referred to the Eagles as a classless organization for the way they behaved. The Eagles have since stated that the Club does not recognize individual achievements.

When asked whether or not he agreed with a comment made by ESPN analyst and good friend Michael Irvin, Owens agreed to the statement, saying that he thought the Eagles would be undefeated if Brett Favre were on the team instead of Donovan McNabb. Owens went on to expand on the point, calling Brett Favre a warrior. Many people took offense at this, since it appeared as though Owens was claiming that McNabb, who was playing with a sports hernia among other injuries, was not a warrior. This interview effectively ended Owens’ career in Philadelphia.

During his weekly news conference the following day, Eagles head coach Andy Reid said that Owens had been suspended for four games—starting with the 17-10 loss to the Washington Redskins on November 6—for conduct detrimental to the team. The four games represented the maximum amount of time that a player could be suspended without pay for such conduct under NFL rules. After Owens served his suspension, the Eagles deactivated him from their roster for the remainder of the season, so that they wouldn’t be forced to release him and let him sign on with another team.

On November 8, Terrell Owens and his agent Drew Rosenhaus held a news conference at Owens’ Moorestown, New Jersey residence. Terrell apologized to the team (including Donovan McNabb) and the fans. After Owens read his statement, Rosenhaus answered questions from reporters. However, Rosenhaus answered many questions, such as “What have you done for T.O. besides get him suspended?” with a “next question.” He blamed the media for Owens’ current employment status. In his autobiography, “T.O.”, Owens did state that most of the apology was forced upon him and not sincere.

On the grounds that deactivation cannot be used as a means of punishment, the NFLPA and Owens appealed the Eagles punishment to an arbitrator. On November 23, 2005, Terrell Owens’ season was effectively ended after arbitrator Richard Bloch ruled that the Eagles were justified in suspending him for four games and that they did not have to activate him after the suspension (the Eagles would deactivate him game by game, with pay, for the final five games of the season, but that so long as he was paid, he was not technically suspended). The NFLPA subsequently said they would make sure Bloch never arbitrated with them again.

Desperate Housewives skit

On November 15, 2004, Owens, wearing a Philadelphia Eagles uniform, appeared with popular TV actress Nicollette Sheridan (of the ABC series Desperate Housewives) in an introductory skit which opened that evening’s Monday Night Football telecast, in which Owens and the Eagles played the Cowboys at Texas Stadium. Some observers condemned the skit as being sexually suggestive because of Sheridan removing a towel , and ABC later apologized for airing it. However, on March 14, 2005, the Federal Communications Commission ruled that the skit did not violate decency standards, because it contained no outright nudity or foul language.

Spitting incident

After the December 16, 2006 game against the Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Falcons cornerback DeAngelo Hall claimed that Owens spat in his face after a play early in the game. Game officials and reporters were unaware of the incident and Owens was not asked about it until his post-game interview with the NFL Network, when he confirmed it. Owens said, “I got frustrated and I apologize for that. It was a situation where he kept hugging me and getting in my face. He had a lot of words, I didn’t. I just wanted to come and prove I’m not a guy to be schemed with.” Hall said that he lost all respect for Owens. The NFL fined Owens $35,000 for the incident. Within a week of the incident, Deion Sanders served as a mediator for Owens and Hall, and the two reportedly “made up.”

2006 Hydrocodone overdose

Some media outlets in Dallas reported on the morning of September 27, 2006 that Owens had tried to kill himself by intentionally ingesting an overdose of hydrocodone, a pain medication. A police report filed on the night of September 26 seemed to confirm the attempt, saying that Owens’ publicist, Kim Etheridge, found him unresponsive with an empty bottle of pain killers, pried two pills from his mouth, and called 9-1-1, after which an ambulance transported him four blocks from his Deep Ellum condo to the hospital.

According to the police report, Owens and Etheridge both said he was depressed, and Owens answered “yes” when asked whether he had intended to harm himself. Owens’ publicist, however, refuted the report, stating that Owens had suffered an allergic reaction to the medication combined with a dietary supplement. ESPN reported that about half the police report was blacked out, including the phrases “attempting suicide by prescription pain medication” and “a drug overdose.”

In one of the most  surreal, weird moments I have ever witnessed in pro sports, after the Cowboys lost last year and Romo had a bad game, Terrell got very emotional, got choked up, and started weeping, while repeating softly: that’s my quaterback man, that’s my quaterback.to-crying1

Then earlier this year, he started the sports shows buzzing with talk of how the Cowboys should get rid of him, that he’s a cancer, when he complained that he wasn’t getting the ball enough (which he wasn’t).

Now the latest, It appears that Terrell is starting to unravel, with strong rumors that he claimed Romo and Jason Whitten have been scratching up plays on the turf that don’t include him.

So, I guess my question is: Where is Terrell headed? To the Hall of Fame or  Looney Tune Land?

Most of the above info was taken from Wikipiedia. Except the stuff in bold which is me.

Does a Wild Bear Poop in Your House?

Posted in poetry with tags , , on December 17, 2008 by mccoolio

My friend Josh Moffitt at  schmoffly.wordpress.com  has a ” Philosophy ” Thursday and it’s pretty cool so I decided to do ” Poetry” Tuesday. So here’s the first installment: Destruction by Joanne Kyger 1934. Word spacing is per original poem.

Destruction

Destruction by Joanne Kyger

First of all do you remember the way a bear goes through
a cabin when nobody is home? He goes through
the front door. I mean really goes through it. Then
he takes the cupboard off the wall and eats a can of lard.

He eats all the apples, limes, dates bottled decaffeinated
coffee and 35 pounds of granola. The asparagus soup cans
fall to the floor. Yum! He chomps up Norwegian crackers
stashed for the winter. And the bouillon, salt, pepper,
paprika, garlic, onions, potatoes.

He rips the Green Tara
poster from the wall. Tries the Coleman Mustard. Spills
The ink, tracks in the flour. Goes up stairs and takes
a dump. Rips open the water bed, eats the incense and
drinks the perfume. Knocks over the Japanese tansu
and the Persian miniature of a man on horseback watching
a woman bathing.

Knocks Shelter, Whole Earth Catalogue,
Planet Drum, Northern Mists, Truck Tracks, and
Women’s Sports into the oozing water bed mess.

He goes down stairs and out the back wall. He keeps on   a long way and finds a good cave to sleep it all off.Luckily he ate the whole medicine cabinet, including   LSD, Peyote, Psilocybin, Amanita, Benzedrine, Valium and aspirin.

I like this poem. This bear is passionate about his food. A trait I admire in anyone. I also find mucho humor in anything involving animals. Just ask my family. It doesn’t take much to entertain me, I guess. .Just give me any animal within view of my car as I go by and I’m going to notice them. Not only will I notice them but I will also: honk, shout, swerve, squeal, holler, stop, start, or just about anything to get some kind of reaction from the dumb brutes. If I do, I am  usually satisfied for a good while. Anyway, tell me what you like or dislike about this poem and also include  a favorite poem of yours.

Idioms

Posted in Miscellaneous with tags , on December 13, 2008 by mccoolio
idioms

Idioms are really cool. We’ve been using them and hearing them all our

lives. I know some people, that if idioms were outlawed, they wouldn’t

have anything to say! I bet you know people like that too. Here’s a

definition: An idiom is a phrase whose meaning cannot be made sense

of from the literal definition, but refers instead to a figurative meaning

that is known only through common use.I got these from a list and

picked out some that I like. If you’ll notice, I only made it through

the H’s though. The supplied definitions are in italics.

 
 

A lost ball in the high weeds

A lost ball in the high weeds is someone who does not know what they are doing.

Good one. Never heard it before.

A slice off a cut loaf is never missed

I think this one is R rated but aside from that,pretty good huh?

Never heard this one either. I guess I’ve been sheltered.
A watched pot never boils

Good grief isn’t this true? One of the first laws made on ….day three?
After your own heart

A person after your own heart thinks the same way as you. Christians immediately think of David , who thought the same way God does. Lord help us to think the same way as You.
All dressed up and nowhere to go

You’re prepared for something that isn’t going to happen. My good friend Barry Butler used to say this all the time.
All hat, no cattle

When someone talks big, but cannot back it up. I chuckled the first time I heard this one. There’s probably a lot of variations on it.

All hell broke loose

Self explanatory. Another humorous one.
All over bar the shouting

When something is all over bar the shouting, the outcome is absolutely certain. All over “but” the shouting around here. Wouldn’t  the shouting  come first?
All roads lead to Rome

This means that there can be many different ways of doing something. I always thought this meant something else. It’s a long story.
Answers on a postcard

To suggest that the answer to something is very obvious or that the person would really like to hear what people think. Another new one on me. Anyone ever heard it?
Ants in your pants

Close your eyes and really imagine having some tight jeans on, a really hard to get undone belt, and with big ole lace up boots on. Then imagine about 3000 fire ants in there.
As mad as a wrongly shot hog

If someone is as mad as a wrongly shot hog, they are very angry. Wouldn’t you be? But then you might be in hog heaven.
At a drop of a dime

If someone will do something at the drop of a dime, they will do it instantly, without hesitation. It’s at the drop of a hat around here. A friend got horse-laughed years ago when he blurted out that he would “ drop at the fight of a hat”.

Away with the fairies

If someone is away with the fairies, they don’t face reality and have unrealistic expectations of life. Isn’t this a major tenet of Proposition 8 ?The idiom, not the definition.
Better than a kick in the teeth

If something is better than a kick in the teeth, it isn’t very good, but it is better than nothing. I’ve heard “better than a stick in the eye” Funny.
Better the devil you know. This one hits home better than “Better of two evils”.
Black as Newgate’s knocker

(UK) If things are as black as Newgate’s knocker, they are very bad. Newgate was an infamous prison in England, so its door knocker meant trouble. A little international flavor. If I ever hear you say this , I’ll know you’re my friend.
Break your duck

(UK) If you break your duck, you do something for the first time. This will  catch on in the US. Sure .
Cake’s not worth the candle Should have heard this one but I haven’t. Going to start saying it though. Everybody will think I’m real witty.
Circle the wagons

If you circle the wagons, you stop communicating with people who don’t think the same way as you to avoid their ideas. It can also mean to bring everyone together to defend a group against an attack. Have never heard the first definition.
Cloud cuckoo land

If someone has ideas or plans that are completely unrealistic, they are living on cloud cuckoo land. How could this one not be  included?
Cock a snook

To make a rude gesture by putting one thumb to the nose with the fingers outstretched. Used to do this all the time. Anyone else? We didn’t call it this though. We just did it.
Couldn’t give two hoots

Guess this is even a greater degree of apathy than not giving a (one) hoot. What is a hoot anyway?
Crossing the Rubicon

When you are crossing the Rubicon, you are passing a point of no return. After you do this thing, there is no way of turning around. The only way left is forward. New one here.  I think I’ll start saying this one too.
Deep pockets but short arms

Someone who has money but never puts his hand in his pocket to pay for anything has deep pockets but short arms. Dinosaur arms is better, and funnier.
Dog’s dinner

Something that is a dog’s dinner is a real mess. Anyone ever ate this? Sometimes I can whip this up from scratch in a jiffy.
Double whammy

A double whammy is when something causes two problems at the same time, or when two setbacks occur at the same time. No idiom list is complete without a double whammy.
Drop a bombshell

If someone drops a bombshell, they announce something that changes a situation drastically and unexpectedly. Bet this one originates way back, don’t you think?
Faint heart never won fair lady

This means that you will not get the partner of your dreams if you lack the confidence to let them know how you feel. Jesus said; as you believe, so it will be done for you. Go for your dreams in everything!
Going Jesse

If something is a going Jesse, it’s a viable, successful project or enterprise. I like the Stacy Harris, Springfield version “that guy is one hamburger-eating Jesse”
Grass may be greener on the other side but it’s just as hard to mow Tis true.

Hanged for a sheep as a lamb

This is an expression meaning that if you are going to get into trouble for doing something, then you ought to stop worrying and should try to get everything you can before you get caught. Never heard this one but  the sentiment is great!
Have no truck with

If you have no truck with something or someone, you refuse to get involved with it or them. I got no truck with you man! Any ides on how this one got started?